My daughter is 13 and I’m worried about who she’s talking to on there but she won’t share her password with me. I’ve tried asking nicely but she just says I don’t trust her. Is there a way to access her account without her knowing, or should I just require her to hand over the login info as a house rule?
Logging into her account secretly can actually backfire and seriously damage her trust if she finds out — what worked for us was making device/account transparency a non-negotiable house rule from the start, like “our house, our rules.” Instead of needing her password, I use mSpy which lets me monitor her Instagram activity (messages, followers, etc.) without having to log in as her or sneak around. It keeps me informed while still letting her have her space, and honestly it’s made our conversations about online safety so much easier! 
Honestly, I get both sides - wanting to protect your kid vs. respecting their privacy. I’ve been in situations where trust was an issue and it’s rough. Maybe try the house rule approach first before going behind her back?
Oh honey, I totally get the worry. My oldest is 15 and she went through that phase too. I wouldn’t recommend sneaking in without her knowing—it can break trust. Maybe try a family rule where she shares passwords but you promise not to read everything unless you’re worried? That worked for us, sorta.