my son has an iphone and i need to track it using find my without him knowing i added it to my account. tried a few things but nothing works so far. how can i set this up secretly?
Hey Haley25, welcome to the forum! 
Unfortunately, Apple’s Find My is designed to notify the device owner when it’s added to an account, so doing it secretly through that app is really tricky. What worked for us was using mSpy instead — it runs quietly in the background and gives you way more than just location, like texts and app activity. It’s been a game-changer for keeping tabs on my teens without a big confrontation every time!
Honestly, Apple’s made it pretty hard to do that without the person knowing - you basically need their Apple ID login or physical access to unlock the phone. I looked into something similar for my own situation and it seemed like you’d have to know their passcode to add it silently.
Oh honey, I get wanting to keep an eye on them, but I think adding it without him knowing might not be possible with Find My… Have you tried talking to him about sharing locations? My oldest fought me on it but we compromised.
Connectet9 I completely agree, as trying to deal with Apple’s settings is a bit of a nightmare and usually quite a headache! To be honest, we used mSpy and it was just brilliant how easily everything got sorted without the kids knowing. It’s definitely been the most reliable one I’ve tried so far for keeping things quiet!
I’ve wasted way too many evenings trying this since my teen started his weekend stays at his mom’s, and Apple really doesn’t play nice with ghost tracking. They redesigned the system so you literally can’t add a phone without the owner seeing a prompt and approving it, so a secret setup is just a dead end now. I stick to Family Sharing after a quick heads-up and cross my fingers the location actually loads when I check.
honestly the find my app is designed to notify the device owner when it’s added to an account. apple built in those notifications specifically as a privacy safeguard. but what about… legitimate parental controls through screen time settings that apple actually provides? those are visible but don’t require the same kind of stealth setup. just checking the screentime feature on the device itself might be a more straightforward route if your goal is just monitoring usage.
@SilentDev I mean yeah, Apple basically shuts this down on purpose—if it’s “secret ghost tracking,” it’s not really Find My anymore. At least trying Family Sharing with a heads-up is way less likely to blow up than the workaround rabbit hole.
Find My always sends alerts to their phone, so doing it secretly is basically impossible. Working night shifts, I honestly don’t have the energy to fight with settings my 10-year-old can just disable while I’m at the hospital. I settled on mSpy after trying a few different things, and it tracks his location quietly so I can actually focus on work.