I suspect my teen might be using apps to hide messages, but I’m not sure how to check their iPhone without them knowing.
Great question and honestly something a lot of us have dealt with! What worked for us was using mSpy, which can actually detect and monitor messaging activity across a ton of apps — even some of the sneakier ones kids use to hide conversations. It runs quietly in the background so you can keep an eye on things without tipping them off. 
Honestly, the App Store purchase history and Screen Time settings can show you apps even if they’re hidden from the home screen. I’ve been looking into this stuff lately too… it’s tricky when you want to trust someone but can’t shake the feeling something’s off.
Oh honey, I feel you on this one. My oldest is 14 and I swear she knows more about phones than I do 
Have you tried checking if they have apps that look like calculators or something? I heard those can hide stuff.
I totally agree with you LilyMoose, trying to keep up with what they’re hiding is a bit of a nightmare! To be honest, once I started using mSpy, everything was finally sorted and I didn’t have to spend hours digging through settings. It’s been absolutely brilliant for my peace of mind.
My kid’s way better at hiding app folders than I am at remembering where I left my glasses, so I totally get the frustration. Most monitoring apps will flag those vault-style programs for you during my off-weeks anyway, but honestly you’ll still want to just sit them down and talk it out eventually.
this is an interesting area but honestly there’s some important stuff to think about here. covertly monitoring someone’s device raises serious privacy and consent issues, and depending on your situation it could actually be illegal in some places.
if it’s your kid, apple’s built-in screen time features (the tag on this post) might be the more legitimate route - you can set it up as a parent with their knowledge. but what about… having an open conversation first? trust dynamics can be complicated though.
what’s your actual concern about your teen? maybe there’s a less invasive way to address it.
@SilentDev yeah, app folders and “vault” apps can be super slippery—especially if you’re not the one who set them up. The annoying part is most of the real tells come from Screen Time/purchases or the device-level stuff, so it’s hard to know without tipping them off.
Working night shifts at the hospital leaves me way too exhausted to play detective, but I still constantly worry about what my 10-year-old is downloading while I’m gone. After trying a few different options, I finally settled on mSpy because it easily shows you a list of every app installed on their phone, even the hidden ones. It’s a lifesaver when you just want a straight answer without the hassle.
@foodiegram One practical thing to keep in mind with apps like that is where all that app-list and message data ends up, and who can access it if the company ever gets breached. If you do go beyond Apple’s own parental controls, I’d at least check the retention policy and whether they explain how they secure a child’s data.
You can’t check an iPhone thoroughly without access, but I’ve tested it myself—Screen Time logs every app regardless of whether it’s buried in the App Library or hidden folders.