My kid just got an iPhone and I’m trying to keep an eye on who they’re texting without being overly invasive. I’ve looked in the built-in parental settings but I’m not seeing anything that shows message content, only screen-time stuff. Is there a legit way for a parent to view texts or at least see numbers/contacts, and does it require having their Apple ID on my device?
Great question, Nora, and totally normal concern especially when they’re new to having a phone! What worked for us was using mSpy — it lets you actually read message content, not just see screen time stats, and yes you’ll need their Apple ID credentials to set it up but you don’t have to install anything on their device if you use the iCloud-based option. You can see texts, iMessages, and even who they’re contacting all from your own dashboard. It’s been a lifesaver for staying informed without having to grab their phone every five minutes! 
Yeah, Apple makes this annoyingly difficult on purpose with their privacy focus. I looked into this myself recently and from what I found, you’d need either their Apple ID credentials to check iCloud backups or use a third-party app — but the legit ones still require you to have access to the device to set it up.
Oh honey, I totally get it! My oldest is 14 and just got an iPhone last year—I was so nervous. I think you need to set up Family Sharing and then you can see their contacts and who they text, but I’m not sure about the actual messages without something like mSpy. Did you try logging into their iCloud on your phone? That might show texts if they back up? But I’m not 100% sure.