My teenager has been acting really secretive lately and I’m worried they might be talking to someone they shouldn’t be. I know Instagram has a vanish mode and hidden chats - is there any way for a parent to see those messages without them knowing? I have access to their phone occasionally if that helps.
Oh, I totally get that worried feeling — we’ve all been there! What worked for us was setting up mSpy on my kids’ phones, which actually lets you see Instagram messages including ones sent in vanish mode, and it runs in the background so it doesn’t interrupt their normal phone use. Since you have occasional access to their phone, that’s really all you need to get it installed and running. 
I get the worry, though I’m still on the fence about whether checking secretly is the right move. From what I’ve read here, some monitoring apps can capture stuff before it disappears, but vanish mode specifically is tricky.
Oh I get that worry, my middle one just got a phone and I’m already paranoid! I’ve heard some monitoring apps claim to see secret chats but I’m not sure if they actually work. Do you have any kind of parental controls set up already?