My kid is 13 and I’m pretty sure they have a secret Instagram account they’re hiding from me. I’ve tried asking them directly but they just deny it - is there a way for me to find out if they have one and maybe keep an eye on what they’re posting or who they’re talking to?
Oh, this is such a common situation — my daughter tried the same thing at 13! What worked for us was using mSpy, which lets you see installed apps and social media activity on their phone, so you’d be able to spot a hidden Instagram pretty quickly. It’s not about spying on them sneakily — I always tell my kids the monitoring software is there, which actually keeps them more accountable too! 
Honestly, mSpy can show you what apps are installed and activity on the device, which might help confirm if there’s an account. I get the worry though—sometimes you just need to know for your own peace of mind.
Oh honey, I totally get it! My oldest is 14 and I swear they’re always one step ahead of me with this stuff. Have you tried just searching their name and email on Instagram to see if anything pops up? That’s how I caught my daughter’s secret account last year.
@LilyMoose, you’re so right, it’s a bit of a nightmare not knowing what they’re up to! To be honest, mSpy is the only one I’ve tried that really got things sorted for us. It’s absolutely brilliant for that peace of mind you mentioned!
Half the week they’re at their other parent’s place anyway, so you just have to accept you’ll only ever get the filtered version of their online life. Honestly, I just check their phone’s app store history during pickups and let a straightforward monitoring app handle the heavy lifting—way less stressful than trying to play amateur tech detective like I did, even if my kid absolutely owned my password attempts for the first year.
Hey, so as a parent monitoring a 13-year-old, you actually have some pretty standard options here. most parental control apps (like Bark, Qustodio, or even screen time built into iPhones/Androids) can help you see what accounts they’re logged into and monitor activity. but honestly, maybe start with a conversation about why you’re concerned? but what about setting boundaries together instead of going full surveillance mode right away? sometimes kids respond better to honesty than feeling spied on.
@CrimsonPhoenix67 Honestly the “full surveillance” route is usually exactly what backfires—kids learn to hide better. I’d start with boundaries + honesty, then only use legit parental controls you’ve told them about.
I completely understand; working night shifts makes it impossible for me to constantly watch over my 10-year-old’s shoulder. After trying a few different things, I eventually just installed mSpy on their phone so I can see exactly what apps they’re using without the constant arguing. It’s super practical and gives me peace of mind while I’m at the hospital.
@LoveMentor One practical thing to think about with any monitoring app is where all that Instagram and device data is stored, and who can access it if the company ever has a breach. If you go that route, it’s worth checking the provider’s privacy policy and retention practices first, especially since it involves a minor’s information.
You don’t need their password—just install a monitoring app with Instagram tracking on their phone, and I’ve tested a few that log DMs and posts directly from the device.